Animatic feedback

Today I received some feedback for my animatic. I have been marked out of 10 for: Range of shot types and editing transitions; Appropriate pace and content for genre; Position and order of titles; Introduction of characters; Introduction of storyline; Clearly an opening sequence and Use of sound. I have also been given a list of targets to improve my animatic which I am going to work on in the next few days. 

The targets I received were fair and I think that once I have made these improvements my animatic will be a lot better.


My first target is that I need to actually show someone scrubbing the graffiti off the door rather than just see the door and a hand. I can see why this will improve my animatic as it will be clearer to the audience what is happening. 

Next I need to change my title shots. These shots have too much to read in one go and so I have the option of either making them completely different shots or having them flash or fade on and off.  

 From this shot I also need to remove the word 'in'. 

I also need to have in some more shots of Grace scrubbing the graffiti off the door. This will add more range to my shot types as I only have the one type of shot and angle of her scrubbing the door. 

I also need to add some ambient sound to follow my titles. I need to do this because my sound  stops after the scrubbing and doesn't continue until the very end. 

I need to remove the speech bubbles from my shot. I do not need this because Grace is saying it and these would not be seen in the shot anyway. 

Another problem with my drawing is that I haven't included bodies for some of my hands and feet. I need to add bodies to the hands and feet because otherwise this isn't a real representation of what the shots are going to look like!

I am going to try different editing transitions during the walking shots to show that this is Grace's daily routine.